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Everyone seems to think that relationships are things that just happen. Not so. Relationships need to be nurtured so they can develop into good relationships, or they become dysfunctional and fail.

Why do relationships fail? We may notice that we seem to continually get into patterns with lovers, friends, and family that don’t serve us or help us to grow. This brings us to a crossroads of deciding what to do next. One option is to decide not to have relationships for awhile and we throw...

We’ve been doing some really good work in the Couples Therapy group, learning how to build the foundations of emotional intimacy and discovering how to communicate better. The key points we’ve been focusing on are sensitivity to your partner, staying connected to your partner, and learning better methods of communication.

Sensitivity

Couples often have confusion about what messages each partner is sending, especially when the partner doesn’t truly understand their own...

In my previous blog posting, I talked about two of the three key points we’ve been focusing on in the Couples Therapy group – sensitivity to your partner, and staying connected to your partner. The topic of this posting is the third key point – learning better methods of communication.

Communication

There are different levels of communication, and different dynamics that occur in conversation. Sometimes when a person is speaking to their partner they tend to withdraw or act...

When I’m working with divorced families, one of my goals is to help parents and children to retain, find, or redefine their own identities. All of the family members should be able to see themselves as being surrounded by their own circle of identity, even when they engage with other people.

Unfortunately, kids in divorcing families are often put into a situation where they are urged to feel more empathy for one parent over another. Or, they are put in the position of trying to figure...

Going through divorce brings out so many raw feelings. One of the major ones is grief – the mental sorrowing over the loss of the dreams one had for the marriage, the painful regret over what you wished it had been. To move through grief, one has to acknowledge the feelings of loss and learn not only to cope with them, but to overcome them while reclaiming and reinventing your life.

There is another feeling that often comes up during a divorce that can block the grieving process –...

Divorce With Dignity is a divorce facilitation service with the goal of getting people through their divorce in a holistic, cooperative, peaceful, and cost-effective way. One of the benefits we offer our clients is referrals for additional services they may need to make the divorce a smoother transition. For example, some clients may be in situations where they have a need to seek therapy or counseling during the divorce process. In these cases, we refer them to professionals like Susan...

During the last support sampler, one of the themes of the group was how to move on from the divorce. When folks are feeling so shamed, it’s really overwhelming to think of rebuilding their lives and how much energy it takes to reacclimate after a divorce.

A lot of the members who sought out the support group are really struggling and suffering with their decision to leave the relationship as well as feeling isolated and different from their current social group. They feel like they have...

Divorce is a scary and overwhelming thing. Sometimes people know they are unhappy in their marriage, but have trouble deciding what to do about it. Should they stick with the “known”, or jump into the unknown territory of divorce? How does one go about making the divorce decision?

One of our Divorce With Dignity referral associates is Marriage & Family Therapist Susan Regan, MFT. We asked her to share with us some of her thoughts on this topic.

Susan, in what ways do people...

In order to create safety in relationships, both people must start talking about their triggers with each other. If you are feeling triggered, you have to first understand what the trigger is, where it comes from, and what you can do to help yourself. So it’s not only insight but also strategy, behavior change, and communicating with your partner. It’s not about having your partner resolve that trigger for you. Often times in relationships, we have our own trauma and sometimes our...