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STRESS—Keep working on it! Come into this season with a plan.

The holidays can be a particularly difficult time of the year, between office parties, family get-togethers, friendship reunions, and holiday dinners. They all often lead to an increased amount of emotional distress.

What sort of emotional distresses?

Emotional sensitivity– You feel easily hurt. Small things tend to set off your emotions. You expect to be rejected and prepare for the worst.

Emotional reactivity– When something upsets you, you tend to react strongly....

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Grieving: Before During and After the Divorce

Divorce is the second greatest life stressor after the death of a loved one.

People experience the stages of grief and loss in much the same way:
Denial / Anger / Bargaining / Guilt / Depression / Acceptance.

These stages of grief are experienced differently in divorce. Often one person (the initiator) wants the divorce. The other (the recipient) might want the marriage to continue. The initiator may feel more of the guilt and responsibility. The recipient may cycle between bargaining and...

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Healing & Transformation: Going Beyond Divorce

Transformations and changes are showing up in my divorce support groups!

My divorce support groups that begin as eight-week series often evolve into groups of people who continue on by joining the next session, and then extend their participation with series after series. The reasons are varied, but most of them feel that getting to the next level of healing is right around the corner, and they are motivated to keep working toward that goal. In the past month I have been hearing so many...

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Divorce: Opportunity to Transform Your Life

Divorce almost always entails a lot of negative emotions and consequences. It’s difficult to see anything positive in it. But it actually can be an opportunity for you to transform your life on an emotional level and change your lifestyle for the better. When intense things happen in our lives they often cause us to have to change radically.

Patterns that may have been formed long ago can keep us re-creating the same scenarios, even when they are not healthy positions for us. When these...

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Couples Therapy Group - Building Emotional Intimacy and Better Communication, Part 2

couples healing Oct 31, 2014

In my previous blog posting, I talked about two of the three key points we’ve been focusing on in the Couples Therapy group – sensitivity to your partner, and staying connected to your partner. The topic of this posting is the third key point – learning better methods of communication.

Communication

There are different levels of communication, and different dynamics that occur in conversation. Sometimes when a person is speaking to their partner they tend to withdraw or act...

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Couples Therapy Group - Building Emotional Intimacy and Better Communication, Part 1

couples healing Oct 31, 2014

We’ve been doing some really good work in the Couples Therapy group, learning how to build the foundations of emotional intimacy and discovering how to communicate better. The key points we’ve been focusing on are sensitivity to your partner, staying connected to your partner, and learning better methods of communication.

Sensitivity

Couples often have confusion about what messages each partner is sending, especially when the partner doesn’t truly understand their own...

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How Shame Stops You From Processing Grief

Going through divorce brings out so many raw feelings. One of the major ones is grief – the mental sorrowing over the loss of the dreams one had for the marriage, the painful regret over what you wished it had been. To move through grief, one has to acknowledge the feelings of loss and learn not only to cope with them, but to overcome them while reclaiming and reinventing your life.

There is another feeling that often comes up during a divorce that can block the grieving process –...

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When To Seek Therapy For A Divorce Process

Divorce With Dignity is a divorce facilitation service with the goal of getting people through their divorce in a holistic, cooperative, peaceful, and cost-effective way. One of the benefits we offer our clients is referrals for additional services they may need to make the divorce a smoother transition. For example, some clients may be in situations where they have a need to seek therapy or counseling during the divorce process. In these cases, we refer them to professionals like Susan...

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How Triggers Affect Connections in Relationships

couples dating healing Dec 04, 2013

In order to create safety in relationships, both people must start talking about their triggers with each other. If you are feeling triggered, you have to first understand what the trigger is, where it comes from, and what you can do to help yourself. So it’s not only insight but also strategy, behavior change, and communicating with your partner. It’s not about having your partner resolve that trigger for you. Often times in relationships, we have our own trauma and sometimes our...

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Intense Emotional States and What To Do with Them

healing individual May 24, 2013

Oftentimes, we have intense emotional states and get flooded with the emotions. It’s important to understand why this is happening. Sometimes, we get flooded with past traumas, but it’s important to slow down and remember not to act or react during this time. People in our group described times that they felt flooded with emotional intensity. A lot of times, people who are going through divorce are triggered by what’s going on currently but they are also being reminded of...

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