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Internal States in Relationships: Why They Matter More Than the Situation
It’s Not Just What’s Happening—It’s the State You’re In
One of the biggest shifts I try to help people make is this:
It’s not just what’s happening—
it’s the state you’re in while it’s happening.
Two people can be in the exact same conversation
and walk away with completely different experiences.
Why?
Because their internal states are different.
What Is an Internal State?
Your internal state is the combination of what’s happening inside of you in any given moment.
It includes:
your nerv...
Why Change Doesn’t Stick—And How Self-Talk Shapes Your Patterns, with Guest, Jackie Miller - #sorelatable Podcast Ep #29)
There’s a moment many people quietly recognize.
You say something you didn’t mean to say.
You react in a way you’ve reacted before.
You leave a conversation thinking, “Why did I do that again?”
And underneath that moment is something deeper:
“I thought I had already worked on this.”
This is one of the most frustrating parts of personal and relational growth—
the feeling that change isn’t sticking.
But what if the issue isn’t a lack of effort?
What if something more automatic is happening u...
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The views, opinions, and content expressed and produced by our guests do not necessarily reflect the views, opinions, or policies of Relationship Solutions Programs or Susan Regan. If you have any questions, concerns, or feedback regarding content, please contact Susan Regan.