When the Past Still Feels Present: EMDR, Parts Work and Healing with Holly Forman-Patel

How EMDR, parts work, hypnosis, and compassionate self-awareness can help us understand old wounds, present-day triggers, and performance blocks.

Have you ever had a reaction that felt much bigger than the moment in front of you?

Sometimes the intensity we feel in the present is connected to an experience our mind and body never fully processed. The memory may be old, but the fear, shame, self-doubt, or feeling of not being good enough can still feel very current.

In this episode of the #SoRelatable Podcast, Susan talks with therapist and EMDR specialist Holly Forman-Patel about the many ways healing can happen.

Holly explains how EMDR helps people work with memories that continue to carry an emotional charge. The goal is not to erase what happened or pretend it was acceptable. Instead, the experience can become something that happened in the past rather than something the person continues to relive in the present.

Susan and Holly also explore parts work, hypnosis, performance anxiety, self-talk, rumination, and the small practices that help us become more aware of what is happening inside us.

You’ll hear practical ideas for checking in with your emotions, responding to yourself with compassion, recognizing when thinking has become rumination, and temporarily containing a worry until you have the time and support to address it.

This conversation is an invitation to become curious about the patterns beneath your reactions—and to remember that healing does not always require forgetting. Sometimes it means helping the past find its proper place in your story.

Guest Bio

Holly Forman-Patel, LMFT, LPCC, LPC, is a therapist, author, trainer, EMDRIA-approved consultant, and EMDR trainer. Her work focuses on trauma, anxiety, transitions, and performance enhancement. She primarily uses EMDR therapy and also integrates approaches including parts work, hypnosis, and Deep Brain Reorienting.

Holly works with people whose past experiences may be influencing their present-day performance, creativity, relationships, or sense of self. She also provides consultation and education for therapists learning to use EMDR.

Learn more about Holly at hollyformanpatel.com.

In This Episode, We Explore

How experiences can become emotionally “stuck” in the mind and body.

Why repeated small wounds can have a significant impact over time.

The difference between remembering an experience and continuing to relive its emotional intensity.

How parts of ourselves may try to protect us from difficult memories or decisions.

What hypnosis is—and why it is different from stage hypnosis.

How self-talk can reinforce fear or help orient us toward what we want.

Why asking “How old does this feeling seem?” can offer valuable insight.

How EMDR can support athletes, speakers, performers, executives, and other high achievers.

Why rumination can create the illusion that we are taking action.

How visualization and the container exercise can help us pause overwhelming thoughts until we are ready to address them.

Key Listener Takeaways

A memory does not need to disappear for healing to occur. It can become part of the past without continuing to create the same emotional reaction in the present.

Small experiences matter. Repeated disappointment, criticism, or feeling unseen can accumulate like emotional paper cuts.

Awareness comes before change. Briefly noticing your emotions and body sensations several times a day can help you recognize patterns.

Protective parts are not the enemy. Resistance may be a part of you attempting to keep you safe.

Rumination is not always problem-solving. When there is no action available, continued thinking may only make you feel as though you are doing something.

Healing should extend beyond the therapy hour. The deeper purpose of therapeutic work is to help people use what they learn in their everyday lives.

Episode Chapters and Timestamps

00:00 Welcome and the many paths to healing
00:35 How Holly became interested in EMDR
03:11 Francine Shapiro’s “walk in the park” discovery
04:21 Combining EMDR, parts work, and hypnosis
05:03 How EMDR works with emotionally charged memories
06:29 Big traumas, small traumas, and accumulated emotional wounds
07:11 When repeated “paper cuts” become deeper wounds
08:25 Understanding protective parts of ourselves
09:01 Using parts work when facing a difficult relationship decision
10:22 What hypnosis actually feels like
10:54 Consent, control, and myths about hypnosis
12:26 A simple emotional-awareness practice
13:32 How the language we use with ourselves matters
14:27 Asking, “How old does this feeling seem?”
15:12 Becoming soothing rather than critical toward yourself
17:10 The isolated-memory bubble
18:00 Helping a memory reconnect with a larger network of support
19:04 The bookshelf metaphor for processed memories
20:14 You do not need to identify every memory before beginning EMDR
20:44 EMDR for performance blocks and high achievers
21:50 Working with the past, present, and future
23:07 Preparing mentally for an upcoming performance
23:50 The power circle and physical anchors
26:09 Building resources for life’s inevitable stress
27:06 Safety, belonging, fear, and anxiety
27:39 Finding five percent more calm
29:43 Why rumination can feel like control
30:42 The container visualization exercise
32:17 Creating a bridge between therapy and everyday life
34:02 Continuing to learn, grow, and receive support

This episode is intended for general education and reflection. It does not provide individualized mental health care and is not a substitute for working with a qualified professional who can consider your circumstances and needs.