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Chop Wood Carry Water

This article will explain in more detail a Buddhist suggestion of what to do when going through a hard time.
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“Put your heart, mind, intellect and soul even to your smallest acts. This is the secret of success.”
Swami Sivananda
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Work. What does the word mean to you? Is it something to be avoided? Is it a means to an end? Is it the only appropriate focus of your attention and energy?...

Here are a few activities to deepen your relationship: you don’t need to do these all at once. Space them out over a month.

Just take one or two things that you think would be most helpful to the two of you.

1. Think of one behavior you have that the other person likes or praises:

Ask yourself why you do this. Share with your partner your feelings as you think about this behavior and why you do it. Then, think about a negative behavior that you do, especially around your partner....

A while back, I was interviewed about my methods when helping people contemplating Divorce. Here is an excerpt from that interview.

Many people who are considering divorce or separation have trouble making the decision. Maybe this is something you are going through right now. You may feel unhappy in your marriage, but afraid of the unknown – deciding to divorce can be scary. Perhaps the same questions keep going around and around in your head, and answers seem out of your reach. How can...

After people decide to separate, I’ve notice that there is a process people go through around whether or not they wear their wedding rings.

Often people wear their wedding rings throughout the whole divorce group series. They aren’t ready to take them off. Having a ring on your ring finger means something. For many it means they are not available to date and they are still attached to someone.

They may also be protecting themselves in their work environment because they...

What bad habits did you get into in your long-term relationship? Often times I’ve heard folks say that their long term relationship changed them. They stopped doing things that made them feel happy and they experience less joy. In long term relationships we sometimes question why we were together and where things fell apart. Did we give up on our own lives? Was it impossible to find happiness with our mate, or was it both? Often times the habits of not communicating, losing interest in...

Another question that was put in the daily dialogues was, “What are my needs and how does my answer make me feel?” Often times we have unmet needs in relationships and if we have too many of these unmet needs in our marriage, it leads to us not wanting to stay in the marriage any longer. It’s important to recognize that your partner won’t be the person that is fulfilling all of your needs. However, it is still important for you to have needs and be able to talk about...

In our group we often talk about the date of their divorce. People are often full of anxiety when they reveal that they have received the date which their divorce process has been finalized. Typically, in the state of California, it takes 6 months and 1 day. However, it often takes people a lot longer to get the paper work done and make all the adjustments when actually filing for divorce. Some people file and never do anything else — they just separate physically. It’s really...