Tackling the big decisions.
May 07, 2020
I’m noticing that there are so many decisions that we are having to make during this time of COVID-19.
Folks in my groups are talking about how taxing it is on their relationships when they’re having to deal with their friends, family, and partner in order to come to a consensus about how to interpret and adhere to the guidelines around COVID-19. They're having to face some difficult decisions.
Not only that -- but with more time and fewer distractions, they feel compelled to deal with the deeper parts of themselves and decide whether to work on themselves and the parts that they’re struggling with.
Some of the main decisions facing them right now include:
- When will I go out in public again?
- Will I wear a face mask when I go out (if I’m not required to)?
- For how long will I maintain social distancing (and in which situations)?
- When will I let my kids socialize physically? When will I let them play with others on a playground? Which social distancing rules will I require they follow?
- When will I agree to let my kids visit with my co-parent again?
- How will I conduct myself if I’m confronted by someone who doesn’t agree with my actions?
- Will I compromise my values to go along with what’s asked/required of me? How much?
Some people are very clear about these decisions, while others need to check-in with their peers, trusted leaders, or sit quietly in thought in order to come to a decision. What do you usually need to do to make a decision?
There are 5 different styles of decision-makers (and multiple blends thereof). Understanding where you generally fall in the spectrum may be helpful for you to begin to move forward with some of the decisions you’re facing*. Here are the main styles:
• Systemic: Tends to weigh all the facts and is very rational in the decision-making process
• Intuitive: Often bases decisions on feelings (a hunch or sense about something)
• Dependent: Usually asks for advice and feedback from others about a decision (may flip back and forth based on who they’re talking to)
• Avoidant: Usually doesn’t really want to make a decision. Feels pressured. Puts off a decision as long as possible.
• Spontaneous: Tends to make decisions without weighing the pros/cons or consequences. They will just make the decision and see what happens.
Knowing which decision-making style you tend to use, how might you work with this part of yourself a little differently during this time -- and have compassion for yourself?
How does your style compare that with your partner, parent, or friend? Ultimately, big decisions will be made through the confluence of you and your community. We’re not operating alone here.
*You can take the free decision-maker style assessment here
What decisions are you being "forced" to look at closely right now? I'd love to hear from you.
Also, if you are looking for some support during this time with divorce processing or co-parenting challenges, I am offering short-term workshops on these topics. Click here
to learn more.