From Stuck to Strong: Why the Right Divorce Support Group Changes Everything

The Midnight Scroll

It’s 1:00 a.m. and Jenna is in bed, phone in hand. She’s joined three different Facebook divorce groups. Tonight’s thread: “My ex is a narcissist.”

Hundreds of comments pour in:
“Same.”
“Mine too.”
“Block him and live your best life.”

For a moment, Jenna feels validated. She’s not crazy. Other people get it. But when she puts the phone down, the pit in her stomach is still there. Tomorrow morning, she’ll wake up to the same challenges: figuring out co-parenting, managing her emotions, and wondering if she’ll ever trust again.

That’s the problem with most of the “support” people find online. It validates. It distracts. But it doesn’t transform.

Why Validation Isn’t Enough

Divorce is one of the hardest transitions anyone can face. So it makes sense that people reach for quick relief: YouTube advice videos, Facebook venting groups, endless late-night conversations with friends.

The trouble? Those things are designed for comfort, not change.

• YouTube can’t talk back. You can consume advice endlessly, but it won’t hold you accountable.

• Facebook groups keep you in the drama loop. Everyone rehashes pain. Few people model solutions.

• Friends get tired of hearing it (and you get tired of saying it). Their advice is well-meaning but limited.

• Therapy sometimes disappoints. Many who try it feel like it’s just ‘talking about feelings’ — helpful for venting, but not for real change.

Validation feels good in the moment. But without tools, you stay stuck — circling the same pain, the same fights, and the same kinds of relationships.

The Hard Truth (And the Hopeful One)

Here’s the truth most divorce “content” will never say: if you only focus on how terrible your ex is, you’ll stay stuck.

Even if your ex was selfish, controlling, or disengaged, there are dynamics — patterns you participated in — that you don’t want to carry into your next chapter. Facing that doesn’t make you guilty. It makes you clear, free, and empowered.

Because once you can say, “I see my part, I see what I want to change, and I have tools to do it differently” — you stop being stuck.

It’s Not Just About Divorce — It’s About What Comes Next

Most people think divorce recovery ends when you stop crying about your ex. But here’s the hard truth:

If you don’t work on the patterns that showed up in your marriage, they’ll show up in the next one.

• If you had no boundaries before, you’ll attract another partner who pushes them.

• If you swallowed conflict until you exploded, you’ll do it again.

• If you confused intensity for intimacy, you’ll keep choosing people who burn hot but don’t sustain.

That’s why Susan’s groups don’t just focus on “healing from the divorce.” They focus on rebuilding the parts of yourself that create healthy, lasting connections going forward.

In other words: this isn’t just about surviving divorce. It’s about becoming the kind of person who doesn’t repeat it.

A Different Kind of Group

That’s why Susan Regan’s groups aren’t about endless venting or cheerleading. They’re about tools, practice, and growth.

Imagine walking away from each week’s session not just feeling heard, but holding a concrete skill you can actually use: a new way to set boundaries, a phrase to calm co-parenting conflicts, or a strategy to avoid repeating old patterns. And you’ll hear from others a little further down the path who’ve tried these tools in real life — and can tell you how they worked for them.

That’s the difference between a group that talks about problems and one that actually solves them.

What Makes These Groups Work

1. They’re stage-specific.

   • Stabilizing / First-Year Divorce Group — for men and women in the raw first 12 months.

   • Moms’ Rebuilding Group — for mothers who want to reclaim identity, establish boundaries, and design a new chapter.

   • Men’s Empowerment Group — for men ready to rebuild confidence, trust, and healthier relationships.

2. They’re professionally guided.
   Susan isn’t just a sympathetic ear. She’s a therapist, coach, and mediator with 30+ years of experience helping people through relational transitions. She brings an extensive toolbox — from practical skills like boundary-setting and communication strategies to deeper methods such as tapping, EMDR, brainspotting, and experiential exercises. These approaches help people calm their nervous system, release old patterns, and actually rewire how they show up in relationships.

3. They’re built for action.

   • Boundary setting

   • Emotional regulation

   • Co-parenting skills

   • Communication strategies

   • Accountability and practice

4. They’re safe and committed.
   These aren’t casual “drop-in” circles where people drift in and out. Members commit to showing up — and that consistency builds trust, accountability, and depth. Week after week, the same group grows alongside you, creating a safe container where honesty flows, breakthroughs stick, and real progress compounds.

Mike’s Story: From Anger to Empowerment

When Mike joined the Men’s Empowerment Group, he had been divorced for three years. On the surface, he blamed his ex — for the constant arguments, for the disconnection, for the collapse of the marriage. But under the anger was something he didn’t want to face: his own reactivity had played a role too.

Mike had a short fuse. During conflicts, he raised his voice, shut down, or said things he regretted. Even after the divorce, the pattern continued. Simple texts from his ex about the kids could send him into a tailspin. He wanted to believe she was the problem — but deep down, he knew the way he handled conflict wasn’t working.

In the group, Mike didn’t just talk about his anger; he practiced changing it. He role-played co-parenting conversations and tried out calmer responses. He got honest feedback from other men who had been there and done the work. He started to see how his reactions didn’t just push his ex away — they had made intimacy and trust harder in his marriage, and they could do the same in any future relationship if he didn’t change.

Week by week, he built new tools: pausing before replying, naming what he actually felt instead of lashing out, and communicating in a way that opened the door instead of slamming it shut.

Six months later, Mike said:

For the first time, I don’t feel controlled by my anger. I see how it damaged my marriage and could have ruined my future relationships too. Now, I feel like I’m showing up as the man I always wanted to be — for my kids, and for myself.

That’s the shift these groups are built for: moving from blame to awareness, from awareness to tools, and from tools to transformation.

Sarah’s Story: Breaking the Cycle

Sarah came into the Moms’ Rebuilding Group furious at her ex. She had spent months replaying his betrayals in her head, convinced the marriage failed because of him. But as the weeks went on, she began to see something she hadn’t wanted to admit: she had spent years ignoring her own needs, overfunctioning, and making herself smaller to keep the peace.

At first, Sarah thought she was doing what a “good partner” should — smoothing over conflict, putting others first, working harder to hold things together. But looking back, she realized those very patterns had drained her, created resentment, and may have even made her spouse less attracted to her over time. The dynamic wasn’t just about what he did wrong; it was about how she had abandoned herself.

In the group, Sarah began experimenting with new ways of showing up. She practiced naming her needs, saying no when she meant no, and taking up space in her own life. These weren’t small shifts — they were acts of reclaiming herself.

Over time, she felt lighter, stronger, and clearer. She said:

I finally see the dynamics I carried into my marriage — and how they hurt both me and the relationship. I know now I won’t keep repeating them. The next relationship I build will look nothing like the last one, because I won’t be the same woman in it.

That’s the power of doing the deeper work: you don’t just heal from the past, you evolve into someone capable of building something healthier in the future.

Why Tools Change Everything

Think about it:

• Talking about anger doesn’t help you see why you explode — or give you tools to break the cycle before it damages connection.

• Complaining about loneliness doesn’t teach you how to stop abandoning yourself or overfunctioning in relationships.

• Rehashing co-parenting frustrations doesn’t show you how to create trust, consistency, and calm for your kids.

Tools do that. Practiced in real time, in a safe space, with people who get it — tools help you interrupt old dynamics, build healthier patterns, and step into the version of yourself who can create better relationships going forward.

Picture This

Instead of scrolling Facebook at midnight, you’ve just logged off a Zoom group where you practiced a new way of responding to conflict — one that keeps you calm, clear, and in control. Other members, a little further along, share how the same skill worked for them in real life.

You close your laptop not with dread, but with confidence. Not because life is suddenly perfect, but because you’re moving forward — with tools, with community, with momentum.

That’s what these groups are designed to do.

The Bottom Line

The internet will keep selling you easy fixes:

“Your ex is a narcissist.”
“You’re flawless.”
“Go live your best life.”

But deep down, you know better. You don’t want to stay stuck in blame. You don’t want to numb out. And you definitely don’t want to keep repeating the same relationship patterns again and again.

You want to grow.

That’s why Susan Regan’s groups exist: not for commiseration, but for empowerment. Not just to talk, but to equip. Not to leave you circling, but to set you on a path forward.

Divorce doesn’t have to define you. It can refine you.