How EMDR, parts work, hypnosis, and compassionate self-awareness can help us understand old wounds, present-day triggers, and performance blocks.

Have you ever had a reaction that felt much bigger than the moment in front of you?

Sometimes the intensity we feel in the present is connected to an experience our mind and body never fully processed. The memory may be old, but the fear, shame, self-doubt, or feeling of not being good enough can still feel very current.

In this episode of the #SoRelatable Podcast, Susan talks with therapist and EMDR specialist Holly Forman-Patel about the many ways healing can happen.

Holly explains how EMDR helps people work with memories that continue to carry an emotional charge. The goal is not to erase what happened or pretend it was acceptable. Instead, the experience can become something that happened in the past rather than something the person continues to relive in the present.

Susan and Holly also explore parts work, hypnosis, performance anxiety, self-talk, rumination, and the small practices that help us become more aware of what is happening inside us.

You’ll hear practical ideas for checking in with your emotions, responding to yourself with compassion, recognizing when thinking has become rumination, and temporarily containing a worry until you have the time and support to address it.

This conversation is an invitation to become curious about the patterns beneath your reactions—and to remember that healing does not always require forgetting. Sometimes it means helping the past find its proper place in your story.

Guest Bio

Holly Forman-Patel, LMFT, LPCC, LPC, is a therapist, author, trainer, EMDRIA-approved consultant, and EMDR trainer. Her work focuses on trauma, anxiety, transitions, and performance enhancement. She primarily uses EMDR therapy and also integrates approaches including parts work, hypnosis, and Deep Brain Reorienting.

Holly works with people whose past experiences may be influencing their present-day performance, creativity, relationships, or sense of self. She also provides consultation and education for therapists learning to use EMDR.

Learn more about Holly at hollyformanpatel.com.

In This Episode, We Explore

How experiences can become emotionally “stuck” in the mind and body.

Why repeated small wounds can have a significant impact over time.

The difference between remembering an experience and continuing to relive its emotional intensity.

How parts of ourselves may try to protect us from difficult memories or decisions.

What hypnosis is—and why it is different from stage hypnosis.

How self-talk can reinforce fear or help orient us toward what we want.

Why asking “How old does this feeling seem?” can offer valuable insight.

How EMDR can support athletes, speakers, performers, executives, and other high achievers.

Why rumination can create the illusion that we are taking action.

How visualization and the container exercise can help us pause overwhelming thoughts until we are ready to address them.

Key Listener Takeaways

A memory does not need to disappear for healing to occur. It can become part of the past without continuing to create the same emotional reaction in the present.

Small experiences matter. Repeated disappointment, criticism, or feeling unseen can accumulate like emotional paper cuts.

Awareness comes before change. Briefly noticing your emotions and body sensations several times a day can help you recognize patterns.

Protective parts are not the enemy. Resistance may be a part of you attempting to keep you safe.

Rumination is not always problem-solving. When there is no action available, continued thinking may only make you feel as though you are doing something.

Healing should extend beyond the therapy hour. The deeper purpose of therapeutic work is to help people use what they learn in their everyday lives.

Episode Chapters

Welcome and the many paths to healing
How Holly became interested in EMDR
Francine Shapiro’s “walk in the park” discovery
Combining EMDR, parts work, and hypnosis
How EMDR works with emotionally charged memories
Big traumas, small traumas, and accumulated emotional wounds
When repeated “paper cuts” become deeper wounds
Understanding protective parts of ourselves
Using parts work when facing a difficult relationship decision
What hypnosis actually feels like
Consent, control, and myths about hypnosis
A simple emotional-awareness practice
How the language we use with ourselves matters
Asking, “How old does this feeling seem?”
Becoming soothing rather than critical toward yourself
The isolated-memory bubble
Helping a memory reconnect with a larger network of support
The bookshelf metaphor for processed memories
You do not need to identify every memory before beginning EMDR
EMDR for performance blocks and high achievers
Working with the past, present, and future
Preparing mentally for an upcoming performance
The power circle and physical anchors
Building resources for life’s inevitable stress
Safety, belonging, fear, and anxiety
Finding five percent more calm
Why rumination can feel like control
The container visualization exercise
Creating a bridge between therapy and everyday life
Continuing to learn, grow, and receive support

This episode is intended for general education and reflection. It does not provide individualized mental health care and is not a substitute for working with a qualified professional who can consider your circumstances and needs.